Invading Treasure Planet
by Wherever Girl
Summary: Aliens! They're everywhere!
1. Chapter 1: So Far, So Wacky

Don't ask why… but I'm in a crazy mood… so this fic should be worthwhile! =D

Anyway, I was thinking of all the TP crossovers out there, and I noticed one was missing…

Invader Zim!

So, here are some random, hilarious skits I made up of what it would be like if the IZ characters were in TP.

Disclaimer: I don't own either cartoons. I just enjoy writing weird stories about 'em :p

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><p><span>Intro- Dib<span>

(JIM and DIB are sitting on the bed, looking at the book)

DIB: Wait a minute? Where am I? …And why am I suddenly three? WHAT'S GOING ON?

THE AUTHORESS: You're being included in a crossover! Just go with it! (walks out)

JIM: Hey, check this out! (shows DIB holo-book)

DIB: What the…? What kind of book is THAT?

SARAH: (walks in) Boys! I thought I told you to go to bed an hour ago?

DIB: I don't remember that! Heck, I don't even remember YOU! What's-

THE AUTHORESS: I SAID JUST GO WITH IT!

Dib: … okay…

(So, they read the book, there's a fluff moment between JIM and his mother, and then she turns the lights out as she exits)

JIM: (opens book under covers) Cool…

DIB: (holds pillow over head) This is going to suck…WILL YOU TURN THAT THING DOWN?

* * *

><p><span>Benbow Dining Scene- Dib<span>

(SARAH is serving the patrons when DIB enters)

DIB: (looking at paper) Hey, Mrs. Hawkins, what the heck are cerellian jelly wor- (pauses, sees all the patrons) No… it can't be… Aliens- they're everywhere! They're EVERYWHERE!

SARAH: -face palm- (faces audience) THIS is why I have him working in the kitchen.

DIB: (is taking snapshots of all the aliens) They said I was crazy, that I was out of my mind! (snaps a picture of DELBERT) I'll prove them wrong! I will!

DELBERT: 0_o …Good luck with that.

* * *

><p><span>Billy Bone's Arrival Scene- Gir and Gaz<span>

(JIM sees BILLY BONE'S ship crash and hurries down to it)

JIM: (bangs fist on window) Hey, mister! Mister, you're okay in there, right?

GIR: (hits window) HOWDY!

JIM: WTF?

BILLY BONES: (bursts out of ship) I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! (shoves chest into JIM'S arms) HERE! YOU DEAL WITH IT! …Oh, and beware the cyborg! (runs off, laughing like a madman, jumping off the cliff)

GAZ: (walks out of ship) About time we got here. (starts playing her videogames)

JIM: 0_o …

GIR: Do you like tacos?

DIB: Hey, Jim! I heard a crash! Is everything alri- GAZ! (hugs GAZ) Oh, my little sister is ali-

GAZ: (Punches DIB) Don't... interrupt... my game! (goes back to game)

* * *

><p><span>Pirate Invasion- Dib, Gaz, Gir, and Zim<span>

(PIRATES arrive, and start breaking into the inn. The others run up the stairs to an open window)

SILVER: (from downstairs) WHERE IS IT? FIND IT!

ZIM: (from downstairs) HEY! If anyone is to give orders, it shall be ME! ...FIND IT!

DELBERT: Don't worry, Sarah. I'm an expert in the laws of physical science. On the count of three-

JIM: (pushes DELBERT and SARAH) THREE!

DIB: HURRY GAZ! (pulls GAZ out the window)

GAZ: If we live, I promise I'm going to kill you in the most slowest, PAINFUL way possible!

GIR: JERONIMO! (jumps) I'm flying like a squirrel!

* * *

><p><span>Map Scene- Gir, Dib, and Gaz<span>

(JIM unlocks the map and everyone is surrounded by holograms)

GIR: (points at random planets) What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that? What's that?

DELBERT: (tryind to answer GIR) Montressor- megalenic cloud- coral galaxy- zignus cross- kinaWILL YOU SLOW DOWN?

DIB: Gaz, I don't think we've entered a world beyond our kind...

Gaz: You just figured that out?

DELBERT: (sees Treasure Planet) Wait, what's this?

GIR: Stop copying me!

JIM: That's Treasure Planet!

DIB: Greeeeaaat... Now, where's the route to Earth?

* * *

><p><span>RLS Legacy Boarding- Gir, Dib and Gaz<span>

(JIM, DIB, GAZ, and GIR board the ship)

JIM: How cool is this?

DIB: Cool? COOL? We're surrounded by aliens who could rip our lungs out any second, and you think it's COOL? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

GAZ: (is playing videogames)

GIR: (climbing up shrouds) I'm a monkey!

DIB: I mean, look AROUND, Jim! How can you handle living your life surrounded by extraterrestrials?

JIM: T_T …Because, I grew UP here?

MR. ARROW: Is there a problem here, gentlemen?

DELBERT: Oh, one of the lads just has a phobia of being surrounded by other crea-

GIR: Talking statue! (jumps on MR. ARROW) Yee-haw! Giddy-up!

MR. ARROW: What the-? Well, I've never!

AMELIA: (swoops down) What's going on down here?

DIB: Our captain is a CAT?

JIM: (to DELBERT) WHY did we bring him along, again?

* * *

><p><span>Galley- Dib and Zim<span>

(Mr. Arrow shows the travelers down to the galley)

SILVER: (steps out of the shadows) Ah, who do we have, here? Oy, Zim! Git out here! We've got company!

DIB: He's… a cyborg… e.O (his eye his twitching)

ZIM: How DARE you try to order ZIM around, you half-metal Ursid! (sees DIB) YOU!

DIB: YOU!

MR. ARROW: Well, since you all know each other well… The boys will be staying down here, in your charge, Mr. Silver.

SILVER: -spit take- Ah, c'mon! I've got enough tah deal wit' bein' stuck wit' THIS one! (points to ZIM)

ZIM: So, you scummy earth-boy, you've decided to cross my path, trying to foil my plans once again?

DIB: A-HA! So, you ARE up to something!

ZIM: I didn't say that!

JIM: (pinches bridge of nose) This is going to be a LOOOOONG voyage…

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><p><span>Brawl- Gaz and Gir<span>

(GAZ is still playing her videogame, GIR is hanging upside-down tangled in a rope, and JIM is mopping, hearing the PIRATES whispering)

PIRATE 1: What are you looking at, weirdo?

PIRATE 2: Yeah, weirdo!

SCROOP: (climbs down) Cabin boysss ssshould learn to mi-

GIR: SPIDER! (tackles Scroop) Surrender your web!

SCROOP: WHY YOU LITTLE! (pins GIR against mast, and the rest of the PIRATES gather to see a fight… the commotion causes GAZ to lose her focus) Any lassst wordsss, you pessst?

GAZ: (angrily reaches and grabs SCROOP by the throat, pulling him down to eye-level) Listen, you sorry excuse for an insect! You just caused me to lose a game that I've been playing for THREE WEEKS STRAIGHT! Do you know what HAPPENS when people CAUSE me to LOSE MY GAME?

SCROOP: o.o …no…

GAZ: (whips out bug-spray, sprays it in SCROOP'S eyes) This…

SCROOP: AAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEE! (spirals around deck) IT BURNSSSS!

GAZ: (tosses can to Jim) Keep this on you. (returns to her game)

GIR: (singing) Spider-pig, spider-pig, does whatever a spider-pig does…

* * *

><p><span>Private Galley Scene- Zim<span>

(All the PIRATES are gathered as SILVER walks down)

SILVER: Are we all here? …Now, if ya pardon my speakin', gentlemen, are ya all- STARK RAVING TOTALLY BLINKIN' DAFT? (swings sword around) After all me trouble of getting deh doc tah hire us as an upstanding crew, ya wanna blow deh whole mutiny before it's coming?

SCROOP: (has ice-pack over his eyes) The boy wasss sssniffing about… and that sssstupid robot attacked my face!

SILVER: Just stick to deh plan, you bug-brained twit! As for the boy, I'll run him so ragged he won't have time to think…

ZIM: And I have an EEEEVIL scheme to keep that dreaded earth-boy from discovering our plans!

GIR: (pops out of barrel) And I'll do the hula! (starts swinging his hips) Doo doo, doo doo dee doo doo doooo…

SILVER and PIRATES: 0_o -thinking- how did HE get down here?

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><p>AN: Well, that's it for now! If any of you guys have some scenes you'd like to see, don't hesitate to send them!

Please review. No flames or I'll spray bug-spray in your face!


	2. Chapter 2: Who's In Charge?

Well, here's more hilarity!

Note: Anonymous reviews shall be listed here.

**Reviewer Thanks**

Invader Jrerk: I actually thought about that. I may do a different version that gives detail on how the IZ characters got into the TP world (in non-script format). Right now, though, I'm writing this story as more of a script-parody. Thank you for the suggestion, anyway.

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><p>(Later that evening, JIM, DIB, GAZ, and GIR are standing on deck)<p>

JIM: (to GAZ) Pretty cool how you handled that spider-psycho.

MORPH: (transforms into mini-Scroop) Spider psycho! Spider psycho!

GIR: Jell-o! (raises fly-swatter) I'll catch it!

MORPH: EEK! (flies off, pursued by GIR)

(SILVER and ZIM come on board just then… arguing)

ZIM: And another thing! I'm more experienced in taking things over and being in charge of minions, whereas YOU failed to retrieve that map from Billy Bones, and NOW we have to sail with a couple of foolish earthlings and-

SILVER: (claps hand over ZIM'S mouth) WOULD YA SHUT UP? (sees JIM and DIB) Eh, heh… don't mind deh Irken. He's had a bad case o' cabin fever, lately.

DIB: That, and he's trying to take over the world!

JIM: Dib, can I talk to you a moment? (walks over with DIB to the mast) Look, I know you're suspicious of that 'Zim' guy. I'm suspicious, too… but we've GOT to lay low, otherwise we're both going to get our guts ripped out, got it?

DIB: Fine… but if he tries to pull anything-

SILVER: So, I understand ye kids got in trouble wit' Scroop on deck. (turns to GAZ) And YOU managed to handle him.

DIB: D8 MY LITTLE SISTER HAD TO DEAL WITH SOME SPIDER-SCORPION HYBRID? (rushes over to GAZ, gripping her shoulders) Are you okay? He didn't hurt you, did he?

GAZ: Just tell that stupid robot to stop tackling people. AND DON'T TOUCH ME. (shoves DIB away)

GIR: (still chasing MORPH) Here, Sparky! Here, boy!

SILVER: Didn't yer paps teach ya tah pick ur fights more carefully?

JIM: -scowl-

DIB and GAZ: -solemn-

ZIM: No one teaches ZIM how to do anything! I am HIIIGHLY capable of learning things on my own!

SILVER: -yeah right look- (turns to JIM) Yer father not deh teaching sort?

JIM: No… he was more of the taking off and never coming back, sort.

DIB: Our dad is hardly around…

GIR: And my dad- um… I forget :p

SILVER: Oh… Sorry tah hear dat, kids.

ZIM: Don't show them SYMPATHY!

JIM: T_T Er, yeah… But, it's no big deal. We've been doing just fine.

DIB: You call growing up on a planet surrounded by aliens 'doing just fine'?

SILVER: Seems like yer big-headed friend has a point, Jimbo. I suppose while yer in my charge, I'll be cramming a few skills in-tah dat thick head o' yers. (turns to DIB) …Yer head will still have enough room. (back to JIM) From now on, I'm not letting ya outta me sight…

ZIM: About TIME you got the point! Don't let them in on our EEEVIL pla- (gets sock shoved in his mouth by SILVER) Mmf!

SILVER: Ye won't so much as eat, sleep, or scratch yer bum without my say-so!

DIB: (whispers) SEE, Jim? They're trying to control us!

JIM: (ignoring DIB) So don't do us any favors!

SILVER: Oh, you can be sure of dat, my lad. You can be sure of dat…

GAZ: Just don't expect too much out of me.

SILVER: (eyeing GAZ) Oh? And why not?

GAZ: -evil eye, throbbing-

SILVER: 0_o …Okay then…

DIB: What? You mean SHE gets to sit out while the rest of us are forced to work for you?

GIR: Yaaaaay! Hard labor!

SILVER: Oh, ye won't be workin' fer ME, Dib.

GIR: What? No minimum wage?

DIB: *whew*

SILVER: Ye'll be spending yer voyage wit' Zim!

ZIM and DIB: (so loud you can hear them from space) _**WHAT? **_DDDDDDD8

GAZ: This should be good.

GIR: Roll 'em!

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><p>AN: Next up- a montage of Jim and Silver's bonding… while Zim and Dib drive each other nuts XD

Please review. Those who flame will have Twinkies © shoved in their ears.


	3. Chapter 3: The Montage of Doom

Alright, here's the montage!

WARNING: The following chapter includes absolute silliness. If you have sensitive lungs, a weak bladder, and/or sitting more than 5 feet off the ground, proceed with caution.

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><p>(SILVER has JIM pry off barnacles off the side of the ship. On the other side, ZIM is making DIB to the same thing)<p>

ZIM: Faster, you fool! I don't want to spend the WHOLE day forcing work on you to tire you out and keep you from exploiting my schemes!

DIB: -grumbles- (points behind ZIM) Holy crap, what the heck is THAT?

ZIM: (turns around) What?

(DIB shoves ZIM… don't worry, folks, they have life-lines)

ZIM: -falling- AAAUUUUUUGH!

GIR: (from the railing) All you need is faith, trust, and… SPRINKLES!

(Later that same day, SILVER and JIM are peeling potatoes, while DIB is forced to sweep away the peelings)

_~I am a question to the world, not an answer to be heard~_

_~All a moment that's held in your arms~_

_(short flashback of DIB chasing after ZIM with handcuffs, trying to catch him to expose he's an alien)_

(SILVER and JIM are in the crow's nest, tying knots. Meanwhile in the galley, ZIM and DIB are cleaning up after dinner, while ZIM is shouting orders. DIB finds a piece of meet and throws it in ZIM'S face- which causes his flesh to burn- and he rolls on the floor, writhing in agony)'

_~And what do you think you'd ever say? I don't listen anyway~_

_~You don't know me~_

_~And I'll never be what you want me to be~_

(DIB is now scrubbing the deck with JIM, while GAZ sits on a barrel, playing videogames and GIR chases after MORPH with a butterfly net. SILVER and ZIM come by and SILVER shoves a bucket into JIM'S arms, pointing to a spot on the deck. ZIM does the same with DIB, who reacts by splashing the water on ZIM- which causes his flesh to burn- and he rolls around on the deck, screaming).

_~And what do you think you'd understand? I'm a boy, no, I'm a man~_

_~You can't take me, and throw me away~_

_(Another flashback shows ZIM trying to avoid the rain. GAZ walks over to share her umbrella with him- out of pity- only to be grabbed by the irken and held over his head like a shield)_

_~And how can you learn that's never shown? Yeah, you stand here on your own~_

_~They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here~_

(DIB is standing at the bough of the ship, watching the stars at the universe… his star-gazing is cut short when GIR jumps on his back, begging for a piggy-back ride)

_~And I want a moment to be real, wanna touch things I can't feel~_

_~Wanna hold on, and feel I belong~_

(GAZ sits with JIM on the galley stairs, listening to SILVER'S stories- which get interrupted when ZIM jumps on the table, boasting about his own adventures. JIM and GAZ both shake their heads)

_~And how can the world want me to change? They're the ones that stay the same~_

_~They don't know me, 'cause I'm not here~_

(JIM and DIB are stuck washing dishes. They're about finished when SILVER brings another pile of pots and pans over, while ZIM sticks out his tongue in mockery. JIM and DIB angrily continue to scrub the dishes)

_~And you see the things they never see. All you wanted, I could be~_

_~Now you know me, and I'm not afraid~_

(JIM and DIB eventually fall asleep. SILVER and ZIM come back down to check on them, accompanied by MORPH and GIR- who climbs on SILVER'S shoulder, trying to grab the blob, only to get pushed off by the cyborg. SILVER covers JIM with his jacket. GIR looks at ZIM, giving him a goofy smile, and the irken rolls his eyes, but does the same to DIB- only sticking his hand in a glass of warm-water before exiting).

_~And I wanna tell you who I am. Can you help me be a man?~_

_~They can't break me, as long as I know who I am~_

(SILVER and JIM are below deck, preparing to go on a long-boat ride… GIR running around all excited. ZIM and DIB have a run-in with SCROOP, who begins chasing them across the deck)

_~They can't tell me who to be~_

_(A flashback is shown of ZIM walking up to DIB'S house, looking back at GIR, who gives him two thumbs-up)_

_~'Cause I'm not what they see~_

_(ZIM turns back to the door and rings the doorbell)_

_~And the world is still sleeping while I keep on dreaming for me~_

_(DIB opens the door)_

_~And their words are just whispers and lies that I'll never believe~_

_(At the sight of ZIM, he freaks out)_

(Present, ZIM and DIB run screaming, still pursued by SCROOP. They leap over crates, barrels, slide down the stair-railings past DELBERT, eventually tripping over each other and slamming against the mast.)

_~And I want a moment to be real. Wanna touch things I can't feel~_

_~Wanna hold on and feel I belong~_

(ZIM activates his backpack and large metallic spider-legs shoot out, helping him leap up the mast. DIB acts fast and grabs onto one of the legs just as SCROOP lungs, and the spider-hybrid smacks against the mast, then begins climbing after them in fury).

_~And how can they say I never change? They're the ones that stay the same~_

_~I'm the one now, 'cause I'm still here~_

(ZIM deactivates his backpack once he and DIB reach one of the branching masts. Seeing SCROOP climbing after them, DIB grabs a rope to swing down- ZIM pushes him away and swings down first, and DIB jumps and grabs onto the bottom of the rope.)

_~I'm the one, 'cause I'm still here~_

_~I'm still here~_

(They hit the deck, seeing that SCROOP has climbed down and now runs toward them. GAZ steps in front of him and holds up her can of bug-spray. SCROOP shrieks and runs off)

_~I'm still here~_

GAZ: (to DIB) You can pay be back by AVOIDING another stupid montage. (walks off)

GIR: (pops up) Yaaay! You're not dead yet!

DIB and ZIM: … -faint-

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><p>AN: Next chapter- things get worse! And yes, I DID use clips from various IZ episodes for the flashbacks. … :D

Please review. Those who flame will be roasted on a spit.


	4. Chapter 4: LIES! The Scummy Spider LIES!

Now for the next chapter!

Anonymous Reviews shall be listed below.

**Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **I always take time to acknowledge my readers. (turns to jerk who slapped you, with a baseball bat) *WHACK!* (turns back to you) …At least I care.

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><p>(ZIM and DIB sit on the deck, panting with relief)<p>

DIB: Man, what is that guy's problem? It's like he wants to kill everyone who looks at him funny!

ZIM: Apparently, he doesn't believe Silver is capable of being in control and wants to have the higher position just so he can maaiiim. …I'd team up with him, but HE doesn't think that I, ZIM!, am capable of leading a crew either! …That, and he's just a big fat jerkish homicidal spider-scorpion-thing.

DIB: You can say THAT again.

ZIM: o.o …You DARE agree with ME? Prepare to meet your DOOM!

GIR: (looking over the edge of the ship) Shh! I'm watching the fireworks!

DIB and ZIM: Fireworks? 0_o

SOMETHING: -goes ka-boom!-

THE SHIP: -rocks-

EVERYONE ON BOARD: -falls flat on their faces-

DIB: What the heck was THAT?

DELBERT: Good heavens, the star of Bermudas! It's gone SUPERNOVA!

GIR: YAAAAY! …Oh, wait. Is that bad?

(So everyone runs amuck on deck, tying down their lifelines and such. ZIM gets control of the cannons and starts blasting meteors while the others have to tie down the sails)

ZIM: Die, death star, DIE!

GIR: Batter up!

THE STAR: -is getting closer-

ZIM: 0_o …Gir, you take over! (scrams)

GIR: Joyness!

DIB: Wait, look! (points at star, which is being pulled back) It's flying backwards!

DELBERT: No… it's devolving into a BLACK HOLE!

GIR: Does this mean the fishing trip is cancelled?

WAVE: -rock the boat-

GAZ: (hanging on to the mast) When this is over, I'm going to make the authoress regret putting _me_ into a parody. -death glare-

THE AUTHORESS: -cowers in fear-

DIB: How are we going to get out of this storm?

GIR: Ask for directions!

AMELIA: Blast these waves, they're ludicrously erratic!

DELBERT: No, captain! They're not erratic at all! There will be another wave in the next 37.2 seconds, followed by the biggest one of all!

AMELIA: Of course! Brilliant, doctor! We'll RIDE that last wave out of here!

DIB: o.o …I will never understand space-logic.

GIR: YIPPEE! I'M GONNA BE SICK!

MR. ARROW: All sails secured, captain!

AMELIA: Good man. Now, release them immediately!

DIB: She's kidding. We just finished tying them down!

AMELIA: Zim! Mr. Hawkins! Make sure all lifelines are secured good and tight!

ZIM: You DARE order m- (receives glare from AMELIA) …Er, alright. (begins helping JIM secure lifelines, seeing DIB helping) HEY! What do you think YOU are doing?

DIB: Making sure you don't try to untie anyone's lifeline and kill someone!

ZIM: HA! I'll have you know that I am able to secure lifelines WITHOUT causing any damage!

JIM: T_T Then why don't you SHUT UP AND GET TO IT!

ZIM: Silence! I'm getting to it! (starts securing lifelines) Idiotic humans and their _foolish_ lack of trust…

ANOTHER WAVE: -whoosh!-

MR. ARROW: -goes overboard-

SCROOP: -cuts lifeline-

MR. ARROW: AAAAAAaaaauuugh… -dead-

GIR: (pops up over SCROOP'S shoulder) SEND ME A POSTCARD!

SCROOP: WTF? Get off my ssshoulder!

DELBERT: Captain! The last wave! HERE IT COMES!

(So the ship gets sucked into the black-hole. SILVER hangs on to JIM, and GIR tries to hang on to GAZ- only to get punched in the face)

THEN: *Ka-BOOM!*

THE SHIP: -flies out-

EVERYONE: -cheers-

AMELIA: Well done, Mr. Silver. Your cabin boy did a bang-up job with those lifelines.

ZIM: A-HEM!

AMELIA: *sigh* And the loud-mouth irken didn't do so bad either… this time.

ZIM: _Thank_ you.

AMELIA: All hands accounted for, Mr. Arrow? (silence) Mr. Arrow?

SCROOP: I'm afraid Mr. Arrow hasss been losst. Hisss lifeline wass not sssecured…

ZIM: WHAT? You are a liar! LIAR!

JIM: Yeah, we checked them all! (he and ZIM run over to lifelines, seeing that one is missing) But, it was secure! I swear!

ZIM: NO! This cannot BE! (turns to SCROOP) It was secure, you arachnid fool! You lie! You LIIIIIEEEEEE! -runs off-

JIM: -does the same-

* * *

><p>(Later that evening, DIB finds ZIM standing at the bough of the boat, a laser-pistol in his hand while GAZ is at his side)<p>

ZIM: Pull!

GAZ: (flings a Scroop-doll into the air)

ZIM: (zaps it) …Stupid spider.

GAZ: Can I go now? I've been throwing dolls for over an hour now. (leaves anyway)

DIB: (awkwardly approaches ZIM) I don't know how to say this without being out-of-character but… I believe you.

ZIM: (arches eyebrow)

DIB: I watched you and Jim both secure those lifelines. There was no way you could have missed one. …Something just doesn't seem right.

ZIM: DUH, you earthling twit! I, ZIM!, have NEVER made a mistake! NEVER!

DIB: What about all those times you failed to conquer Earth?

ZIM: THAT DOESN'T COUNT! (begins pacing) Now, be silent while I think! It is obvious that neither that other stupid human-boy nor I could have screwed up, so it is obvious that someone got a hold of the lifeline while we had our backs turned, so they could obviously pin the blame on us as an obvious sign of hatred towards one of us!

DIB: T_T Obviously.

ZIM: BUT, the question is, who on this ship would DARE try to frame ME- and Jim, I guess- for such a loathsome, homicidal act?

(They think, looking at a box of Scroop-dolls ZIM planned on blasting later)

DIB and ZIM: -snap fingers- SCROOP!

DIB: C'mon, lets go tell the captain!

ZIM: YOU do YOUR own thing. I'M going to come up with a plan for REVENGE! (runs off)

DIB: o_o …Maybe I should've just left him to take the blame. :p (begins walking off, seeing SILVER and JIM on the lower deck) 0_o Why is that cyborg hugging Ji- what is on my head?

GIR: -is on DIB'S head- HIIII! =p

DIB: Gir… Get. Off.

GIR: -is on DIB'S head- Aw, but it's so biiiiig!

DIB: T_T …Look, there's Morph. Chase him.

GIR: YEEEEE! (leaps off DIB'S head, running after MORPH)

(DIB walks down to the crew's quarters, meeting JIM)

JIM: Hey, what have you been up to?

DIB: I just came to the conclusion that I'm on a ship full of idiots.

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><p>AN: And it's just going to get weirder!

Please review. Prevent forest-fires, don't flame!


	5. Chapter 5: Let The Mutiny Begin!

Now for another chapter!

Dib: How long is this story going to TAKE?

Me: Just shut up and get into your position! It's starting!

Dib: -grumbles-

**Anonymous Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **Sure, I'll put your OC in. (turns to jrek) In other words, you're going to have a LOT more to worry about than a head-injury *evil chuckle*. (back to you) Hope you enjoy!

* * *

><p>(Early the next morning…)<p>

DIB and JIM: -asleep-

GIR: Rise and shine! -tackles DIB-

DIB: ACK! -falls out of hammock- (did we mention he's in the bunk above Jim?)

JIM: -crushed- OOF!

GIR: Wheeeee! (runs)

DIB: I can handle dealing with Zim, being laughed at by my peers, and thrown into a parody of a Disney movie… but I'm getting SICK of that robot jumping on me! (runs after GIR)

JIM: (reaches for boot, which hops away) Ah, c'mon… Et tu, Morph?

MORPH: -raspberry- (grabs JIM'S real boot and flies off)

(And so…)

DIB: (leaps into storage pantry, tackling GIR) Not so fun being jumped on, is it?

GIR: Touchdown!

JIM: (leaps into barrel)

PIRATES: (gather without knowing the protagonists are within earshot) -chanting- We want to move! We want to move!

SILVER: We don't move 'til we got deh treasure!

ZIM: I say we send those puny weaklings hurling into another black hole!

SILVER: (grabs ZIM by the throat) How many times do I have tah tell ya I'M THE ONE IN CHARGE HERE!

SCROOP: I sssay we take the irken's advice an' jussst kill them all now!

SILVER: (grabs SCROOP by the throat with his cyborg hand) Don't ya start, too! If ANY of ya pull anymore stunts like what Scroop did wit' Mr. Arrow, then so help me, you'll be JOINING HIM! (throws SCROOP and ZIM both at the barrel and pantry door)

GIR: Someone's at the door! (gets gagged by DIB)

DIB: Shh!

SCROOP: SSStrong talk, but I know otherwissse.

ZIM: SEE? Even the putrid SPIDER believes that I- (gets another sock shoved into his mouth by SILVER) Urk! Ptooie! Where do you find all these socks?

SILVER: (ignoring ZIM) Ye got something tah say, Mr. Scroop?

SCROOP: (pulls out purp) It'sss thossse boyssss… Methinks you got a sssoft ssspot for that cabin boy of yours. (turn to ZIM) And YOU, apparently, have a history with that boy with the huge head.

ZIM: LIES! The scummy insect lies AGAIN!

SILVER: (eye glows red) Don't mark me! I care fer one t'ing an' one t'ing only: Flint's TROVE! Ye t'ink I'd risk it all fer deh sake of some nose-wiping little whelp?

ZIM: Let alone my domination of this 'Treasure Planet' everyone keeps talking about?

SCROOP: What was it you said lassst night? (impersonating SILVER) 'Ooh, ye got deh makin's of GREATNESS, in ya'.

ZIM: Oh, PLEASE! …That was the WORST Silver impersonation ever! I, ZIM!, have done ones more convincing! (glare from SILVER) …Er, at least, I BELIEVE I could… do… better.

SILVER: -rolls eyes- (faces SCROOP) I only cozied up tah dat kid tah keep him off our trail! But I ain't gone soft…

ZIM: And I never have NOR WILL so much as even build an acquaintanceship with that scummy earth boy!

ONIS: (from crow's nest) PLANET HO!

PIRATES: Meeting's over! (stampede like a herd of cattle)

TREASURE PLANET: -is in plain sight-

ZIM: At last! VICTORY! Victory for ZIM!

SILVER: Shut up before I hit ya wit' me spyglass- (feels pockets) Wait, where is it?

ZIM: Ha! You can't even keep track of your own accessories! You'd probably lose your robotic limbs if they weren't attached!

SILVER: (smacks ZIM… with his cyborg hand)

ZIM: -sees stars- Apparently, they're well attached…

(JIM, DIB, and GIR walk out of their hiding places)

DIB: Jim… I know you probably don't want to hear this right now, but… I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU SO! HA HA HA HA HA!

JIM: -extreme death glare-

DIB: O.O …Er, lets go warn the others.

(They run up the stairs, but their path is suddenly blocked by SILVER)

SILVER: Jimbo! Dib! …Playin' games?

GIR: GAMES? Ooh! I wanna be it! (leaps onto SILVER'S shoulders) Pick me! PICK ME!

SILVER: (stumbles) ACK! Git off me head, ya blasted bot!

DIB: Quick! While he's distracted! (makes a break for it with JIM)

ZIM: Well, Silver, I think this is the best time to say… I TOLD YOU SO!

SILVER: (rips GIR off his head and throws him at ZIM, then blows whistle) Change in plans, lads! We move NOW!

GIR: Checkmate!

ZIM: (pushes GIR off him) About TIME! (turns to the other pirates) Confiscate all weaponry and capture the humans and any of their allies!

PIRATES: T_T …

SILVER: GET MOVING!

PIRATES: O.O (scramble)

ZIM: No one knows a REAL leader when they see one.

GIR: Always the bride's maid, but never the bride.

* * *

><p>AN: Next up, an epic- and mostly hilarious- escape!

Reviews are nice. Flames are not. … Choose wisely.


	6. Chapter 6: Two Dumbots Too Many

Here's the next chapter. Enjoy-

Zim: Or prepare to meet your DOOM!

Me: T_T …Dude. I'M supposed to do the opening Author-Notes.

Zim: Oh, really? What makes you think YOU can do it?

Me: Well, let me think… ah, lets see… (pretends to think) Hmm… Oh, yes, now I remember. It's because I'M THE AUTHOR! (boots Zim out of here) Now, get going! We've got a story to continue!

**Anonymous Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **I know. You'll be seeing him in the story, soon.

* * *

><p>(In AMELIA'S Stateroom…)<p>

AMELIA: Pirates on my ship, I'll see they all hang! (tosses DELBERT a laser-pistol) Doctor, familiar with these?

DELBERT: Well- *ZAP!* (comes close to shooting AMELIA'S head off) …Uh, no, no I'm not.

MORPH: (sees map) Oooh, ahhh…

GIR: (likewise) Ooooooooooh, shiny…

AMELIA: Mr. Hawkins, defend this with your life! (tosses map to JIM, but it is caught by MORPH)

JIM: Morph! Give me tha-

GIR: MINE! (swipes map from MORPH, who grabs it, and they have a tug-o-war fight)

GAZ: (snatches map) Idiots.

(Outside the stateroom…)

PIRATES: (are trying to laser-fy open the door)

ZIM: Let me show you how a REAL master does it! (takes out laser, zaps the door- it's still standing) Blast it!

SILVER: Don't mind if I do. (blasts the door open with his arm-cannon) THAT'S how ya open a door, Zim. (they enter the room, seeing a hole in the floor)

ZIM: Oh, GREAT! Just GREAT! NOW what are we going to do?

SILVER: (grabs ZIM) I suggest you go AFTER THEM! (throws ZIM down the hole)

(SO, our heroes run for their lives below the deck toward the hull, with the pirates in pursuit. AMELIA slams the door in their faces and opens the hatch and they prepare to hi-jack a longboat and take off, but MORPH snatches the map from GAZ, forcing JIM for go after him. The pirates then come down and have a shoot-out with AMELIA and DELBERT, and the astronomer shoots at a piece of machinery in the ceiling, making it crash down on the catwalk and cause the pirates to fall to their death)

AMELIA: Did you actually aim for that?

DELBERT: You know, actually I did? (both of them duck more laser-blasts)

DIB: Um, guys? THE HATCH IS CLOSING!

SILVER: -grins evilly-

GAZ: Figures. (looks up) Yo, cat-woman, dog-man. Shoot those cables.

AMELIA: Good idea- but do NOT call me 'cat-woman' unless you want to surrender to the pirates.

GAZ: -vicious look- I NEVER surrender.

JIM: Morph, give me the map!

SILVER: Morphy! *whistles* Bring it here!

MORPH: -moment of indecision-

GIR: Ooh! I'm open! I'm open! (leaps toward MORPH)

MORPH: Augh! (dives into rope)

GIR: (searches through rope) Aw, man, he's not in here! (holds up map) Just this shiny volleyball.

ZIM: Gir! Bring us the map! Bring it to us, I saaay!

DIB: Don't do it, Gir! They're the bad guys!

GIR: Hmmm…. Eenie, meenie, miney, moe…

GAZ: Just get in the freakin' boat!

GIR: … 8P …OKAY! (leaps into boat, followed by JIM)

GAZ: NOW!

(DELBERT and AMELIA shoot the cables, the longboat begins to glide smoothly until a laser-ball strikes it, and our heroes plummet into the jungle. Anyway…)

AMELIA: -wounded-

GAZ: -wounded as well- …I'm going to KILL the authoress.

THE AUTHORESS: -gulps-

DIB: Gir, PLEASE tell us you still have the map.

GIR: (holds up map) Ta-da! It's a circle!

SO-CALLED MAP: (floats, changing into MORPH)

JIM: Morph! Where's the map?

MORPH: (shifts into map in the rope)

GIR: Yay! Hide and seek!

GAZ: I hate to interrupt your intentions to kill the blob, but we've got company. (points upward at a longboat full of pirates)

AMELIA: Mr. Hawkins, Dib, scout ahead, and find us a more suitable position. (hands JIM a pistol)

DIB: Uh, can I get one of those?

(So, DIB, JIM, MORPH, and GIR scout through the jungle, not realizing they're being watched)

TUBULAR BUSHES: -rustle rustle-

JIM: -sneaks over-

BEN: AH!

JIM: AUGH!

DIB: YAH!

GIR: What? (sees BEN) Hey, look! A robot!

BEN: -rambles-

DIB: T_T Another ANNOYING robot… (slaps forehead) This is hopeless.

MYSTERIOUS FIGURE: You got THAT right! (tackles DIB)

DIB: GAH! …Wait a minute… ZIM!

ZIM-DOUBLE: Do NOT portray me as my idiot brother! I am JREK, a cyborg-irken and OC of Invader Jrek! I was put into this part of the story as punishment for mistreatment toward my creator, and have been forced to deal with THAT idiotic robot for the past five chapters!

BEN: And I'm… um… uh… (thinks for a moment) BEN! Yes, BEN- Bio-electronic Navigator. …And you are?

JIM: I'm Jim, that's Dib.

GIR: And I'm… um…

DIB: -whisper- Gir.

GIR: GIR! …Who's that?

JREK: What brings you to this planet of which I am cursed to remain on?

DIB: To put it bluntly, pirates.

JREK: Crap, don' mention-

BEN: Pirates! Ooh, don't get me started on pirates! I don't like them…

JREK: T_T Too late…

BEN: I remember Captain Flint, this guy had SUCH a temper!

JIM: O.O You knew Captain Flint?

DIB: So, you know where we can find the treasure, get this story over with, and I can go home? =D

BEN: -memory lapse-

DIB: T_T …Figures.

JIM: -slap-

BEN: Who are you guys?

DIB: Jim, lets just go. These guys won't help us.

JREK: Got THAT right, big-head.

BEN: -sadness-

JIM: *sigh* Alright, you can come along, but you have to stay quiet-

DIB: And NOT kill us!

JREK: -glare- No promises.

GIR: I have to use the bathroom!

BEN: Oh, we can stop by my place, if you want! (reveals his hideout)

JREK: (slaps forehead) I can't believe I got stuck with a STUPID robot…

DIB: You're not alone.

* * *

><p>AN: …I confess, I enjoy tormenting Dib ^-^

Please review. No flames or-

Zim: Or you shall meet your DOOM!

Me: Zim…

Zim: …Er, by the orders of the authoress.

Me: Got that right. …Now, beat it! (boots Zim again)


	7. Chapter 7: Yay, We're Dead!

Now for a new chapter!

**Anonymous Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **(looks at Jrek) Okay, then! …Though, I doubt Dib will like that. (looks over at Dib, cowering in fear) …Nope. He doesn't.

* * *

><p>(Soon, at BEN and JREK'S hideout…)<p>

DELBERT: -carrying AMELIA-

DIB: -carrying GAZ- Don't worry, sis! I promise you, those pirates will PAY for your injury!

DELBERT: Er, actually, Dib, I examined her and it turns out she just as a sprained wrist.

DIB: 0_o (eyes GAZ) Then WHY did I have to carry you?

GAZ: Because- after that stupid chase-scene, crash-landing on a planet, let alone dealing with a bunch of idiots- there was NO WAY that I was going to walk up a hill.

GIR: Save the planet. Conserve energy!

JREK: Just don't touch anything of mine. …Oh, and keep clear of Tak.

EVERYONE: O.O Tak?

TAK: (storms out from behind curtain) It's about TIME I got into this story!

DIB: TAK! W-What are YOU doing here, let alone stranded on this planet?

TAK: I was SUPPOSED to be part of Silver's crew, but a certain scum-bag ruined everything AGAIN!

**~Little Flashback~**

THE AUTHORESS: (looking at list of IZ characters) Lets see… who should I hand over to Silver?

TAK: (running down the hall) Hey, I'd like to- AUGH! (slips on wet floor, crashing and getting trapped in the bathroom) Hey, let me out!

ZIM: (mopping the floor, wearing rubber gloves, a hairnet, and funny-looking goggles) Rackin' frackin' GERMS are all over the place!

THE AUTHORESS: (sees ZIM) Hey, wanna be part of a pirate crew?

ZIM: Can I be the captain?

THE AUTHORESS: -muttering- Only if you can defeat Silver…

ZIM: I'M IN!

TAK: (banging on door) No! Wait! LET ME OUT! LET ME OOOOUUUTT!

**~End of Flashback~**

TAK: -fuming-

DIB: So… I guess this would be a bad time to bring up that Zim and a bunch of pirates are hunting us down?

TAK: WHAT? (whips out laser gun) Where is he?

BEN: Hey, maybe he's one of those guys coming up here! (stands in entrance) HEY, ARE ANY OF YOU GUYS ZIM? (dodges laser blasts) Ack! Ooh! Yipe!

JIM: (yanks BEN down and starts returning fire)

JREK and TAK: (assist JIM)

SILVER: Hold yer fire! …Hello, up there! Jimbo?

GAZ: Probably after the map.

AMELIA: No doubt.

JIM: Then that means that he thinks we still have it!

DIB: Jim, whatever you do, do NOT go down- (sees that JIM has already left) …How he's survived this far, I will never know.

JREK: I've been wondering the same thing about you.

GAZ: Ditto.

GIR: Ducky!

* * *

><p>(Jim comes back a few minutes later)<p>

DIB: Well? Well?

TAK: (raises laser gun) Was that dreaded Irken-disgrace down there?

JIM: No. It's either we hand over the map, or we're dead.

JREK: Well, sucks to be you guys. (aims gun at DIB) Want me to put you out of your misery now?

DIB: Get away from me!

AMELIA: Everyone, settle down! Look, it's obvious we're stranded in this cave. The last thing we want to do is lose our minds, so remain calm!

* * *

><p>(3 hours later…)<p>

GAZ: e.o (in the fetal position) No videogames… for twelve… hours!

TAK: (sharpening a stick into a spear) Kill Zim, get revenge, kill zim, get revenge…

BEN: (playing checkers with GIR) King me!

GIR: With what?

DIB: I knew this would happen… now we're dead… we're DEAD.

JREK: Literately if you don't shut up!

AMELIA: Gentlemen… we must stick together and… and…

DELBERT: What? WHAT? We must stick together and WHAT?

AMELIA: Doctor… you have… wonderful eyes.

DELBERT: 0_0 SHE'S LOST HER MIND!

JIM: Well, help her! …And help out the others while you're at it, too.

DELBERT: Dang it, Jim! I'm an astronomer, not a doctor!

GIR: At least we have band-aids!

DIB: Jim, this is hopeless. Do you have at least ONE idea on how to get us out of this?

JIM: Lets see… without the map, we're dead… if we try to leave, we're dead… if we stay here…

MORPH: We're dead! We're dead, we're dead, we're dead!

GIR: I'm gonna sing the 'Dead' song, now! -singing- Dead, dead, dead dead dead, dead dead, deady dead dead, dead DEAD deady dead deady dead dead dead…

BEN: Well, uh, I see that you all are a bit stressed right now, so I think I'll just slip out the back door…

JIM and DIB: Back door?

BEN: (reveals secret passage)

GIR: Yay! Hiking trip!

JIM: Guys, I think I found a way out!

DELBERT: Jim, wait! The captain said that we-

JIM: I'll be back! (leaps down hole)

BEN: Cannonball! (jumps down)

GIR: Belly-flop! (follows)

TAK: I'm coming with, in case we run into that stupid Zim! (dives down hole)

JREK: -evil smirk- (switches mechanical arm into a laser) Looks like it's just you and me, Dib…

DIB: O.O WAIT UP, GUYS! (leaps down hole)

GAZ: T_T Morons.

* * *

><p>AN: Next up, an epically gut-busting hilarious fight!

Please review. No flames or you'll face the wrath of ZIM! …Or, wait, that's not bad. You'll face the wrath of GAZ! (yeah, that sounds a whole lot worse).


	8. Chapter 8: To Kill a Spider Thingy

On with the funny!

**Anonymous Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **I was wondering about that. (turns to Jrek) Jrek's got a girlfriend, Jrek's got a girlfrie- AUGH! (ducks laser-shot) Well, you're not going to keep her with THAT attitude!

* * *

><p>(JIM and DIB quietly peek out of a secret passage, seeing that they're by the pirate campsite)<p>

BEN: -pops up- SO WHAT'S THE PLAN?

JIM: BEN, shh! (cover's BEN'S mouth)

DIB: Your stupid robot is going to get us killed, Jim…

GIR: -pops up next- PEEK A BOO!

DIB: Gir! (covers robot's mouth) Quiet!

JIM: Yeah… MY robot is going to get us killed. T_T

TAK: You ALL are going to get us killed if you don't shut up! …Now, how do we get past the heathens?

JIM: We're going to hi-jack that longboat over there, sneak to the RLS Legacy, disable the cannons, and bring back the map.

DIB: Um, I don't think disabling the cannons would do us much good, Jim. The pirates still have guns that shoot lasers, not to mention Silver has a cannon built into his left arm!

JIM: Just move!

* * *

><p>(So, they hi-jack the longboat, sneaking on board the RLS Legacy…)<p>

JIM: You guys wait here. I'm going to go find the map.

BEN: Right, and I'll disable the cannons! (goes off to do so)

GIR: Save some for me! (follows BEN)

DIB, JIM, and TAK: -forehead slaps all around-

FOOTSTEPS: -are then heard-

JIM: Quick, hide! (He ducks behind a barrel, while DIB and TAK do the same)

ZIM: -walks down- Huh, I thought I heard someone down here…

TAK: -so furious you can see a nuclear explosion in her eyes- YOU! (attacks ZIM)

ZIM: GAH! NOT YOU AGAIN!

JIM: -shakes forehead- Dib, you and Tak keep Zim quiet. I'm going to go find the map. (takes off)

DIB: Keep him quiet? The _mute button _can't even keep him quiet when we're on TV!

ZIM: -running- Getawaygetawaygetaway!

TAK: -pursuing, with an ice-pick- Diediediedie!

* * *

><p>(Meanwhile…)<p>

BEN: Disable a few laser cannons… what's the big deal? All you gotta do is find that one little wire- (opens fusebox, seeing like a billion wires) O.O …Oh, mama…

GIR: Congratulations, it's a boy!

* * *

><p>(With Jim…)<p>

JIM: -finds map- Yes…

DIB, ZIM, and TAK: (from the hallway) AAAAAUUUGH!

JIM: (runs out) What's going on?

DIB: Run for your life, Jim! Giant spider at twelve o'clock!

JIM: (Sees Scroop running toward them) Crud. -flees- How did he find you guys?

DIB: How do you THINK? The two Irken-Idiots wouldn't keep quiet!

TAK: Hey, _I_ was keeping quiet! ZIM just can't handle being gagged!

ZIM: You dare accuse ME? It was YOU who jumped out screaming like a banshee!

JIM: T_T …These guys are going to get me killed…

* * *

><p>(With GIR and BEN…)<p>

GIR: -points at random wires- Lets try this one! Lets try _this _one! Lets try THIS one!

BEN: Would you pick a wire, already? Sheesh, I don't even HAVE a mind, and I'm still able to make it up! (grabs wire) Lets try this one. (pulls wire)

THE LIGHTS: -go out-

GIR: Are we going to tell scary stories, now?

* * *

><p>(Back with JIM and the others…)<p>

ZIM: AUGH! I've gone BLIIIINND!

TAK: No you didn't, you nimrod! The lights just went out! …Right when we had that spider-scorpion-thing, too!

JIM: "We"? _**I**_ was the one who at my pistol aimed at him!

DIB: Um… can spider-scorpion-things see in the dark?

EVERYONE: O.O …Crap.

* * *

><p>(Back with the robots…)<p>

BEN: -who has flashlights for eyes- Whoops! That wasn't it…

GIR: I forgot my nightlight!

BEN: -puts wire back in- Hmm, now which one?

GIR: Ooh, my turn! THIS one! -pulls wire-

* * *

><p>(With the others, the lights have come back on)<p>

DIB: Crud, where's Scroop?

ZIM: Maybe, since he's half spider, he scatters whenever the lights come back on!

TAK: That's a COCKROACH, you moron!

MORPH: -sees Scroop above 'em- AUGH! (turns into a can of bug-spray)

SCROOP: AUGH! GET AWAY FROM ME! -whacks MORPH into pipe-

OTHERS: *Gasp!*

SUDDENLY: -everyone starts floating-

DIB: WTF?

TAK: Hey, watch the abbreviations!

* * *

><p>(Back with the dumbots…)<p>

BEN: Uh, I don't think that was the right wire, either…

GIR: (flies through air) Weeeeeee! I'm Peter Pan!

* * *

><p>(Back with the others… again…)<p>

SCROOP: -grabs onto mast-

ZIM: -does likewise-

JIM, DIB and TAK: -are still floating 'til they grab the flag-

JIM: -reaching for pistol- C'mon, c'mon…

DIB: I got it! (tries to grab pistol, only to smack it farther away) Oops…

TAK: I have come to the conclusion that all male creatures are idiots.

SCROOP: (begins to cut rope) Do sssay hello to Mr. Arrow for m-

ZIM: HEY! (jumps up and kicks SCROOP in the face) If there's anyone who should destroy my arch-enemies, it shall be ME, you putrid insect!

SCROOP: -floats to death-

JIM, DIB, and TAK: 0.o …Whoa…

* * *

><p>(Back with GIR and BEN)<p>

BEN: Back you go, you naughty plug!

GIR: -singing- Plug it in, plug it in!

THE GRAVITY: -is then restored-

JIM, DIB, TAK, and ZIM: -land on deck- OOF!

DIB: I can't believe it… ZIM actually SAVED our LIVES!

ZIM: What? I did no such thing! I, ZIM!, was merely keeping that repulsive bug-thing from stealing my spotlight!

GIR and BEN: -stumble on deck, covered in wires-

GIR: We're a little tied up at the moment. Please leave a message after the beep!

* * *

><p>AN: …Beep.

Please review. No flames or else no cookies for a month!


	9. Chapter 9: KaChing and KaBoom!

Now for more hilarity. PREPARE YOUR BLADDERS FOR IMMINENT RELEASE!

**Anonymous Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **You shall see.

* * *

><p>(JIM, DIB, TAK, GIR, ZIM, and BEN all arrive back to the cave)<p>

JIM: Guys, I got the map…

DIB: Yeah, now lets find the treasure and get out of here before those pirates-

SILVER: -looms out of the shadows- You was sayin'? (grabs map)

DIB: …show… up… O.O

PIRATES: -circle around our heroes capturing them-

JREK: -grabs DIB- Prepare to see the afterlife, earthling scum! (raises pistol to his enormous head)

DIB: What the-? I thought you were with US!

JREK: Yeah, I was, but Silver showed up and asked if I wanted to take Zim's place, and I took up the offer.

ZIM: WHAT? You DARE replace ME? I am the mighty ZIM, you idiotic cyber- (gets another sock shoved in his mouth) Ptooie! Okay, seriously, how can you have so many socks? You only have one foot!

TAK: Mind if I join, too?

SILVER: Why should we let YOU in?

TAK: (holds up giant notebook) I have over a thousand ways on how to torture Zim.

SILVER and PIRATES: You're in!

ZIM: Mutiny! This is MUTINY!

SILVER: T_T It was mutiny a long time ago, lad.

JREK: (pokes DIB'S temple with pistol) Can I blow this kid's giant head off now? Pleeeeaaase?

SILVER: Hold yer horses, lad! Lets wait 'til AFTER we find deh treasure. (tries to open map, to no prevail)

JIM: -smirks and shakes his head-

GIR: I wish _I_ had a Rubix Cube…

SILVER: (shoves map into JIM'S hands) Open it! (JIM doesn't listen) Either open it, or I'll blast yer little friends! (aims his pistol at DIB, GAZ, and GIR)

JIM: T_T …

SILVER: Oh. Right… I'll shoot yer OTHER friends! (aims at DELBERT and AMELIA)

GIR: Ooh, open it! I wanna see the prize!

JIM: -scowls, opens map-

LIGHT: -shoots out of map and turns into a GPS line-

SILVER: Alright, tie 'em up and let Jrek an' Tak have their way wit-

JIM: -shuts down map- You take the map, you take us all.

SILVER: -groan- Even Zim?

JIM: Even Zim. -thinking- You deserve it for what you've done…

* * *

><p>(One boat-ride across the planet, later…)<p>

GAZ, AMELIA, and DELBERT: -stay behind, tied up-

BEN: Jim, I don't know about you, but I'm starting to see my life pass in front of my eyes! …at least, I think it's my life… WAS I EVER DANCING WITH AN ANDROID NAMED LUPE?

GIR: Ooh, I think I was!

JIM: Guys, calm down! This isn't over yet.

DIB: Considering there's a gun pointed at my head, I assumed it was.

ZIM: Fool! Of COURSE it isn't over! I, ZIM!, refuse to give up so easil-

TAK: -whacks ZIM- If I have to hear one more 'I am Zim!' out of you-

SILVER: All of ya shut up! (looks at line, which is flashing rapidly) I smell treasure awaiting!

GIR: Actually, that was me. :p

(So they cut through some bamboo, only to see that the line leads them to the edge of the cliff)

ZIM: What trickery is this?

ONIS: I see notheeng! One great big pile of NOTHEENG!

SILVER: What's going on, Jim?

JIM: I don't know, I can't get the map to work!

TAK: I knew it! Pretty-boys can't to ANYTHING right- Especially pathetic HUMAN ones! (shoves JIM to the ground)

GIR: -points at dent in ground- Hey, what's that?

JIM: Possibly the way to the treasure. -inserts map-

SOON: -the portal appears-

EVERYONE: Ooooooooooooooh…

JIM: So this is how Flint did it. He used a portal to roam the universe stealing treasure!

DIB: WHOA…

ZIM: (writes on notepad) Note to self, STEAL FLINT'S IDEAS!

JREK: Bro, you REALLY have to stop announcing your plans to the universe.

SILVER: -shoves JIM away- But where'd he stash it all? Where's… dat… blasted… TREASURE?

DIB: -jumps in front of SILVER- The heck with the treasure! Which button can get me home?

BEN: Treasure? Treasure! It's…

GIR: Buried in the center of the mechanism… Maybe the whole PLANET is the mechanism, and the treasure is in the center of it!

EVERYONE: O.O (surprised at GIR'S sudden intelligence)

GIR: …Who wants a cupcake? -cupcake pops outta his head- *munch munch*

ZIM: Then HOW do we get there?

JIM: Just push the right button. -does so-

PORTAL: -opens to a room full of treasure-

PIRATES: -agape-

GIR: Ooooooh, shiny!

TRAP: -is suddenly set off without anyone knowing-

JIM: C'mon, while they're distracted by the treasure, we'll escape!

DIB: That's probably the best idea you've had throughout this whole story.

JIM: -glare-

(So, they climb on board a ship, where they see…)

ZIM: AUGH! DEAD GUY!

JIM: It's… Captain Flint!

BEN: In the flesh!

GIR: Only without skin!

DIB: Hey, what's that in his hand? (grabs it)

JIM: Dib… I think you just found BEN'S mind!

GIR: (sitting on Skele-Flint's lap) And I want a pony, and a tricycle, and muffins, and a kitty, and a balloon, and…

JIM: Now… see if you can find Gir's. (inserts circuit into BEN'S head)

BEN: I CAN THINK AGAIN! Right up from the moment where Flint ripped out my memory so I couldn't tell anyone about his BOOBY TRAP!

RUMBLING: -is heard-

BEN: 0_0 …Speaking of which…

LASERS: -shoot out of the ceiling-

GIR: I didn't know we were going to a laser-light show!

BEN: Flint wanted to make sure no one could find his treasure-

DIB: So he rigged this entire room to explode?

BEN: No.

DIB: *whew*

BEN: He rigged the entire PLANET to blow up!

DIB: D8

GIR: YAY! We're dead for SURE now!

ZIM: Gir, you're NOT HELPING!

* * *

><p>CLIFFHANGER: -arrives-<p>

REVIEWS: -are appreciated-

FLAMES: -suck-


	10. Chapter 10: The End is Near!

And now for another epically-hilarious chapter. ENJOY!

**Anonymous Reviewer Thanks**

**Invader Jrek: **o.o You seem really happy seeing your OC on the evil side… (turns to Jrek) And you really want Dib dead, don't you?

* * *

><p>(So, lasers are shooting everywhere, the floor opens to reveal a boiling river of lava, a couple pirates fall in, and lets just say things aren't looking too cheery right now)<p>

JIM: BEN, you go help the captain and Doc! If I'm not there in five minutes, leave without me.

BEN: I am not leaving my buddy Jimmy!

GIR: All for one and one for all!

JIM: -full unleash of the death-glare-

BEN: 0_0 Unless he looks at me like that… Bye, Jim! -flee-

GIR: Adios, amigos!

JIM: (turns to DIB and ZIM) And unless YOU both want to die, you can help me out here!

DIB: I choose life! (begins to assist JIM)

ZIM: Ha! I wouldn't be caught DEAD helping a pair of scummy HUMANS! (turns to leave ship, seeing the hazardous path ahead) O.O …Then again, I'll be caught dead, anyway. What are your commands, Jim?

(SILVER, TAK, and JREK, in the meantime…)

JREK: Uh, don't look now, Silver, but the remainder of the crew is leaving.

SILVER: GET BACK HERE YOU COWARDS!

TAK: No offense, cyborg, but unless you want to end up like those crazy old coots who died because they wouldn't leave their life-long obsession in a life-or-death situation, I suggest we FIND A WAY OUT OF HERE!

JREK: I spot one now… -points-

SILVER: (looks over at boat, seeing JIM, ZIM, and DIB working on it) -villainous smirk-

TAK: -thinking- Escape AND a chance for revenge. Perhaps this situation isn't as bad as it seems! (dodges laser) Augh!

* * *

><p>(Meanwhile, with DELBERT, AMELIA, and GAZ)<p>

DELBERT: All my life I waited for an adventure like this… I'm just sorry I couldn't be more useful to you.

AMELIA: Oh, don't be daft. You've been most helpful. Really.

GAZ: Hey, how about you think of a plan OUT of this situation, rather than having some pity-party?

DELBERT: How? We've been captured by pirates. It'll take more than brains to handle them, and… *sigh* I'm nothing but a useless weakling! (covers face with hands, realizing they're free) With abnormally thin wrists.

GAZ: (holds up hands) Likewise. Now, lets take out that pirate.

DELBERT: -taunts pirate-

PIRATE: I pummel you good!

GAZ: Hey, lardo, is this YOUR gun? (aims laser-pistol at pirate)

PIRATE: 0_o Uh…

* * *

><p>(Back with the others, the boat is up and running)<p>

JIM: Yes! Guys, we are so OUTTA here!

DIB: At last! We're home-free!

SILVER, TAK, and JREK: -board ship-

ZIM: 0_0 I think you spoke too soon.

SILVER: Ah, Jimbo, ain't you deh seventh wonder of the universe!

TAK: 0_o Don't you mean 'eighth' wonder?

SILVER: I would say dat, but after seeing deh size of Dib's head…

JIM: -raises sword- Get back!

DIB: About TIME you saw him as a threat! (raises sword as well) Stay back, you freaks!

ZIM: (holds up laser) Back! Back I SAAAAY!

SILVER: -glowers at JIM- I like ya, lad, but there's no way I'm letting ya stand between me an' my treasure.

TAK: (takes out laser) And I've come too far for my revenge to be stopped now!

JREK: And I've been waiting too long to kill Dib! (switches arm to laser-cannon) SAY GOODBYE, PUTRID HUMANS!

DIB: -gulp- Well, I had a good run…

ZIM: Uh, hold on… Who's steering the boat?

EVERYONE: O_O Oh, CRA-

LASER: -hit's the ship- *BOOM!*

JIM and DIB: -fall over edge, grabbing an outcrop to keep from hitting lava-

SILVER: -is trying to keep the boat-load of treasure from meeting a laser-

ZIM: -looks down at DIB- I take it this is how you humans 'hang out'?

DIB: Now's not the time for PUNS, Zim! Help me up!

ZIM: I don't know… If I leave you now, I'll have one less pest in the way of my EEEVIL schemes. Plus, I don't like you.

JREK: Neither do I, so… (aims arm-cannon at DIB) Say your prayers, big-head!

ZIM: Hey, I want to destroy him! Find your OWN nemesis! (shoves JREK)

JREK: Well, I hate him more than you do, so I get to kill him! (shoves ZIM)

ZIM and JREK: -get into a shove-fest-

DIB: (looks down at lava) Maybe hitting the lava won't be so painful…

TAK: (grabs DIB and hoists him up) There, I saved you. Happy?

DIB: You… SAVED me? But, why?

TAK: Because, since Zim finds you a pest, I've decided letting you live would help that stupid, pathetic-excuse for an Irken suffer! (grabs him by the shirt-collar) But if you DARE tell ANYONE that I saved you, you shall suffer twenty times worse than my foe!

DIB: Uh, understandable. …Should we save Jim, too?

TAK: (thumbs over at SILVER saving JIM) Nah, the cyborg's already got it covered.

ZIM and JREK: -still fighting-

TAK: HEY! How about we get out of this death-trap, THEN fight?

JREK: Grr… FINE. But when this is over, I call killing-dibs on… er, well, killing Dib.

(So, they run through the portal, meeting up with JIM and SILVER)

JIM: Silver, you gave up?

SILVER: It's a life-long obsession, Jim… I'll get over it.

RLS LEGACY: -arrives-

GAZ: You guys want a lift, or do you want to die instead?

BEN: Hurry, guys! We've got a short matter of time before planet-destruction!

EVERYONE: -gets on board-

SILVER: Ah, Captain, ye arrived just in deh nick o-

AMELIA: Save your clap-trap for the judge, Silver!

ZIM: Aaaaaand… We're doomed.

GIR: FINALLY!

JUST THEN: -the engine is damaged-

BEN: Engine immobilized, Captain! We only have 30% of capacity!

DIB: Thirty-percent? That means… WE WON'T MAKE IT!

JIM: (sees supplies to make a solar-surfer) Not if I can't help it. Turn back toward the portal, I have an idea!

DELBERT: Jim, that portal leads to a ranging inferno! How could we-

GAZ: (grabs DELBERT by the throat) Just listen to the pretty-boy, dog-face!

SILVER: -helps JIM build a solar-surfer-

JIM: -flies off to save the day-

GIR: -hums the "Star Wars" theme song- Doo doo, doo doo DOO doo, doo doo DOO doo, doo doo doo…!

DIB: -still panicking- We'll never make it! We're all going to die! I WANNA GO HOME!

ZIM: -slaps DIB- Get a hold of yourself, man!

JIM: -then begins to plummet-

ZIM: Okay, NOW you can lose it.

DIB: Thank you. -continues panicking- AAAAUUUUUGH!

BEN: SEVENTEEN SECONDS!

GIR: It's the final countdown!

GAZ: Hold it! He's sliding the engine against the wall, generating enough heat to ignite the engine!

DIB: Waaaiiit… How could rubbing metal against heated metal possibly bring his engine to life?

FILM MAKERS: Just go with it!

BEN: 7... 6... 5... 4... 3... 2...

JIM: -presses button-

PORTAL: -takes 'em back to the spaceport-

EVERYONE: -rejoices-

AMELIA and DELBERT: -hugs-

TAK: -kisses JREK-

JREK: Whoa! What was THAT for?

TAK: Meh. It's just in the timing.

GIR: -leaps to hugs GAZ-

GAZ: -punches him before he can do so- Don't even think about it.

* * *

><p>(And blah, blah, blah, LATER BELOW DECK!)<p>

SILVER: C'mon, you Irkens! We've gotta make tracks!

JREK: We're going as fast as we can!

JIM: You never give up, do you?

DIB: You guys aren't getting away THAT easily- (JIM shoves a sock into his mouth) Mmf!

ZIM: HA! Now you know how I feel!

JIM and SILVER: -one last tender moment-

JIM: -lets them go-

SILVER: Oh, an' here's a little something-something tah help yer mum rebuild her dinner-house! (tosses JIM treasure)

JREK: And I'll return one day, Dib, to destroy you ONCE AND FOR ALL!

DIB: Uh… Take your time.

TAK: And I'll be back to get my REVENGE, Zim!

ZIM: Ha! I'd like to see you… 0_o WAIT! You're leaving ME?

SILVER: So long, sucker! -flies off-

ZIM: D8

DIB: -turns to JIM- You let him go. The guy nearly tries to kill us, and you LET HIM GO?

JIM: Dib, there's something I've been meaning to tell you throughout this whole story: LET. IT. GO.

* * *

><p><strong>AND SO…<strong>

THE BENBOW: -rebuilt-

PARTY: -goes on-

DELBERT and AMELIA: -married with kids-

JIM: -cadet-

(So, everyone celebrates. JIM proves he's not ashamed to dance with his mom, and DELBERT and AMELIA cut a rug too.)

GIR: -to GAZ- Dance with me!

GAZ: -groan- Only if it'll get you to SHUT UP.

DIB: Well, I GUESS this isn't so bad. At least no one's trying to kill us anymore.

ZIM: Yes, everything is fine and well… FOR NOW. After the party, however, I shall return to my schemes and try to TAKE OVER THIS PLANET!

EVERYONE: -stops and stares at ZIM-

ZIM: O.O …Uh, kidding! Just kidding!

DIB: -arches suspicious eyebrow-

SARAH: Those two are never going to get along, are they?

JIM: Like you wouldn't believe. -looks out window, seeing a cloud representation of SILVER-

GIR: (pops up behind JIM) Whatcha looking at?

JIM: T_T

**AND SO (once again)…**

**The TP characters got sick of the IZ cast, and forced the authoress to have mercy on them and send them back home.**

**Zim went back to his previous scheme of trying to take over Earth.**

**Dib, happy to be home, went back to trying to bust Zim.**

**Gir continued to be the annoying robot we all know and love.**

**THE END.**

* * *

><p>AN: …Now, go home.

Please review. No flames or I'll throw your cat's beloved scratching post through your neighbor's window.


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